A Random Fap in the Face. Oops.

Well I didn't plan on blogging today, but considering that the time between posts continues increasing, I figure I should do it when I have the chance. I don't really have a specific purpose for this post, other than to just write something and give an update on this writer's life. Bear with me if/when things seem random and odd.

I've been trying harder than ever to learn how to pick better on my guitar, using my fingers. It can get pretty tedious at times, especially when moving from one chord position to another. And plucking those little strings is a pain in the ass, with me having such fat meaty fingers. My hands would probably be more well suited for punching someone's lights out rather than the delicate finesse it takes to pick on a guitar. Rhythm playing comes to me more naturally. Plus then I can sing along.

I decided a couple weeks ago that before I die I think I wanna try a rare steak. Even if I take one bite and purge right there on the table. Gotta try it. Just to say I have. To follow that up, I began a bucket list in a little notebook that I carry with me most of the time. In it, I have a page for bucket-list items as well as little poetry entries, random writings, thoughts, etc.

One of the reasons that I haven't been focused on blogging is because I've been helping with the creation of a senior class play at CVA. Being a one year alum is weird because I still feel like I'm supposed to be there and a part of things, so its nice to be able to work with them. I've been brainstorming with Add and Bay, and together the three of us have totally pwnd. I took it upon myself to just write out a rough draft. And at page 14, its still going strong, soon to be finished. I find great fulfillment in doing things like this. Because its like a baby. Writing it, organizing it, directing, and seeing the final product makes me feel absolutely wonderful. In the actual production of it, Add has taken interest in the sets, stage, and over all organization. Bay is psyched about creating costumes. And I shall help with running practice, act coaching, and seeing things go the right way. At the same time, we all will delve into each other's categories for advice and assistance. I explained it to Add and Bay like we're the Trinity. We all have our own main tasks, but we still get involved with the other areas of work. We joked with each other about the Holy Spirit advising Jesus. "Hey uh Jesus, maybe you should do this..." etc.

I'm trying to find daily peace in Jesus. I've known that I need this for a long time, but He continues to remind me. I can only speak for myself in this matter, but I know that my mind is a mess. Completely tangled, wound up, a lit fuse, and compressed to its maximum capacity all the time. I have to talk to my counselor about this and tell her all these things I think and feel and whatnot. The problem usually seems that I've already analyzed and self diagnosed myself, so telling her feels pointless sometimes. Without getting into all the nitty gritty, I'll just say that basic functioning, processing, and living a normal life all seem impossible on a regular basis for me. It isn't that I haven't tried before or that I'm copping out or that I've given up or that I am the way I am for attention. Its just open honesty. I keep feeling that I need to go somewhere or do something to attain clear thinking, peace of mind, and true rest. But God tells me that I can have that TODAY through Him. Conscious surrender and letting go make all the difference. I can't handle most of what is thrown at me. And He tells me that I don't have to. Tomorrow can worry about itself. Peace of mind is what everyone wants, but never can seem to get it. I might expound on this another time. Or hit me up, I'll chat your ear off about it.

SoyBean tells me that I should vlog (that's video blogging, for all your old folks out there *wink*). I don't know what to think about it.

Concerning coffee, I have discovered Scooters. Bannana told me for a long time I needed to try it, but I kept putting it off and not caring. But they have these Candy Bar lattes...... And that's all I need to say. Its all wonderful and February is "free shot month". To clarify, that's a shot of espresso. Those are the only shots I take. Except for gun shots. I shoot guns sometimes. Usually on video games. But shots nonetheless.

I've also been trying out melatonin to try and help myself sleep. Its not that I can't sleep when I get in bed... Its just that I have trouble choosing to get in bed. So I keep hoping that I'll feel sleepy enough with the natural supplement to stop my creating and go to sleep at a decent hour.

Anyways, I think I have arthritis and a severe case of ADD, so this is all I'll write for now. Feel free to comment about anything I babbled about. And if you haven't done so already, go find The Pumpkin Patch on FaceBook and LIKE it asap. Then you can be regularly notified when I post new shiz. That is all.