Friday, April 27, 2012

Jugular Jab

Sometimes things reach a near breaking point in class. My arms get all tingly, my legs get restless, my brain feels overloaded, and I just want to run out or flip a desk over. In these extreme times, I try and channel it into writing. So yeah, I wrote this during class and was glad my teacher didn't walk over and sneak a peak.

Class sucks, what the fuck, glad I tucked
A needle in my bag
Take note, as I float, its in my throat
A jugular jab
I grab my veins for some paint, no more restraint
I smear it on the floor
Then I start my final art: a literal work of heart
Dripping to the door
I shatter glass, then they gasp, I’m falling fast
Straight to the ground
The swirling in my head, aching in my bed, things you said
Finally make no sound

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


This is a poem that I've had sitting around for awhile. I wrote it one late night/morning when everything felt overwhelming and out of control. In those moments, writing can be the only tangible thing that makes sense.

I thought about quitting today
I hope I don’t
Because there’s so much to do
I have to move past you
I thought about using today
But I had to stop
Because it was too insane
False glory
And it isn’t the right way to change
I thought about dying today
But then I stopped
Because it was all too real
A real escape
But not a solution to what I feel
2.06 buys me a burger and fries
But 2:06 am is the time
And now is the second
To change, to live, and to never look back

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


The earthquake
The wind
The fire
None of the three
Truly brought you to me
Star gazing
My belief is aloof
Something amazing
Send down proof
The voice
The quiet
The whisper
In silence, I am in sync
At peace where I can think
Speak to me
I only want to be told
Appear to me
I only want to behold
My faith
My trust
My hope
Are shaky under midnight sun
And still I ask for Your will to be done

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Wish

A snippet of life turned into poetry.

You said:
“That was the biggest shooting star I’ve ever seen”
I said:
“You should hurry and make a wish”
You closed your eyes
Facing toward the sky
And then asked I,
“What did you wish for?”
You said:
“I wished that she’d return”
But your mind, which keeps track
Of her financial lack,
Whispered: “She might not come back”

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Poet Tree

This piece was created with thought towards the numerous great artists throughout history that have struggled and fought against internal demons. Various ones that come to mind for me personally are Kurt Cobain (Nirvana), Layne Staley (Alice in Chains), Whitney Houston, Heath Ledger, Edgar Allen Poe, Eminem and others that I can't remember right now. They obviously aren't the only ones that have gone through hard times and they haven't all committed suicide. But this poem is a dedication to them as well as reflection of my own mind during dark times.

Oh em gee
There’s Poet Tree
Where all the artists hang
Like you and me
Poets and musicians swaying
No longer do they write or sing
They wove their own rope
Out of sensitive heart strings
Substance abuse, shotgun skull
Sad and lonely and fearful
Inability to cope
Against the riptide’s deadly pull
Now I can see
Here’s Poet Tree
With a new coil fashioned
Especially for me
We’re never twenty-eight
Consumed by things that frustrate
Unable to see past the present
Skeletons and blind hate
Tragedy and trouble
Disappointment, a popped bubble
In tune to issues of life
Buried beneath rubble
I broke branches with my knees
Ascending the trunk of Poet Tree
Hands that once wrote words
Tightened the rope around me
We’re forever twenty-seven
Free spirits locked out of Heaven
Until that day peace prevails
Minds and gates finally open
I used to be sixteen
Somewhere I lost me
Inside a vat of restlessness
And an apathy to be
So crouching in the leaves
I leapt from Poet Tree
Hope for tomorrow sprung
Into the air alongside me

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Music Monday - Five Finger Death Punch

I'm going to start something new on my blog that I hope will keep me writing more consistently. Every Monday I'll do my best to put out a post about the music I've been listening to most recently. It'll be different but I'll still give my perspective and blah blah blah. I realize that today isn't Monday, though I do tend to get my days of the week confused. But if I had posted on Monday, this is what it would have been...

This past week I've been listening to a lot of Five Finger Death Punch. I hadn't listened to much from their first release, but upon doing so I realized why its called The Way of the Fist. Only a couple songs in and it felt like I'd just had the crap beaten out of me. The sick guitars' speed picking coupled with intensely belligerent lyrics makes for an audio smack in the face I won't forget.

Lead vocalist Ivan Moody's loud yelling vocals add impact to the angry lyrics while the guitars and drums slam the air waves with a sound that makes me think of a jack hammer pounding through concrete. In addition to the rough shouting, the album contains a decent amount of clean singing particularly during chorus lines.

Concerning the lyrics, I'd say "thems be fightin' words" and its true. Throughout most of the album, the words express great levels of disdain, frustration, and pissed-off-ness; Usually its complemented by an element of pessimism such as in "Never Enough" the words 'In the end, we're all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away'. In "The Devil's Own", the lyrics talk about a childhood being destroyed by the father. In the song Ivan (who I assume wrote the lyrics) blames his father for being the reason he's dead inside. He also admits to hating to what he's become as a result of a flawed upbringing. Needless to say, the words contain high levels of emotion, which makes it one of my favorites. Along with that piece, I favor "The Way of the Fist", "White Knuckles", "Stranger Than Fiction", "Ashes", and "A Place to Die".

The entire album is rock solid and it was a great start to FFDP's music career. That's the end to our first Music Monday despite it being Wednesday -___-. I don't plan on them being long or super refined. Shoot me some feedback, comments, etc.

Everything, Everyone

Everything, Everyone
Is asking me
To do something
To be someone
The weight of the world
Compresses my spine
I’m a clumsy fruit vendor
Dropping baskets of responsibility
My burdens, my strains
Are troubling to this crippled brain
The vicious cycle of stress avoidance
Increases angst and annoyance
Anything, Anybody
Is distracting to me
The shiny things
Attractive bodies
The thoughts of my mind
And my steam-punk dreams
Pervade conscious behavior
I’m afraid I will be crushed
My burdens, my strains
Are unique to personal pains
They might be handled fine
If they were against a different mind

I must confess that as of late I haven't been very satisfied with my poem writing. I don't know I'm just in an uninspired slump or if I'm just being too half-ass about things. Regardless, I finished this poem and I'm posting it because I gotta keep moving forward and putting things up. I've been collaborating with a couple of the seniors for their class play this year as well as helping with other things and maybe my mind just can't handle all these outlets at once. Anyway, pumpkins, that is all.