Thursday, December 15, 2011

"Bad" Words in "Good" Writing

Greetings, readers. This post has been written in response to a question/request for blogging. I was asked by one of my devoted followers about my raw and explicit content, in particular the swearing and "unclean" things. And its been asked before, why does my writing have to have those things in it?

The answer was initially easy to come up with, but it took some extra thinking to solidify in my mind. Kinda like Jello. I like Jello usually. Its easy to make, but you gotta give it time and space to finally become a finished product. The typical answer is to say "I like those words". That may be true, but I felt there was something deeper at work.

I began this blog for me. Granted, I love having fans and followers. I greatly enjoy feeling like what I write and create can make a difference for other people. Like they can relate and understand at least a piece of the things I express. I had/have a blog for the Mid-America Union that I wrote for for a long time and still post occasionally, but I always had to moderate content and didn't sense that my poetry would suit the Adventist site. And a lot of what I do is poetry. Self expression and feeling on paper. And as you have seen, it isn't always clean. But then again, neither is life.

Basically all the people I know tend to deceive themselves. I see it especially in adults and I think this is because they've had a lot longer to build masks and walls to keep tender parts of who they are organized. People don't seem to be honest with themselves. I know people and friends who act one way around adults and another around kids. This is understandable, and in no way wrong. My point is that, how is a person to know what/who you are then?

I don't make it a habit to blatantly use profanity for show or attention. These words I say and thoughts I have are a part of who I am. Just like I don't try and make the words I say on a daily basis sound perfect all the time, so I don't worry about what I write. When I sit or lay down to pour out my soul on paper, does it make sense to scribble out things that come from a place of complete honest feeling inside me? Whether its an "inappropriate" word a disturbingly raw phrase or an uncomfortable analogy. Part of being real is acknowledging the things that your mind and heart produce. I've begun to maintain that "heart-product" as I call it, is neither bad nor good. Words that come straight from the heart are neutral, when a person stops worrying about moderation. What a person feels and lets themselves feel will directly reflect what they say and do.

My mom once asked me if the look into who I am people is positive or not, and I told her that is isn't my job to decide that. Whoever reads or hears what I say can make up their own mind on whether it is good to them or not. All I do is open the gate of self-consciousness and allow whatever is trapped inside to go free. By being honest and removing fear of judgement, one can view the true things within them exiting and analyze them.

Recently, I have been finding out a lot of things about myself, my behaviors, and the way I process. I believe that God has been working through my blog as an outlet for everything that gets clogged in my head. My blog isn't a place for me to be right about things and tell everyone the absolute best way to live and love. Its definitely not somewhere I can be perfect. That's just stupid. Its a place where I can share my journey. Explain what's going on in my life, my discoveries, my hopes, fears, and epiphanies.

This is where I can be me, and nobody else.

Hopefully this has made sense to those out there wondering why I do what I do. If things still are foggy, I can try again. A lot of times, the points I mean to make get lost in my cluttered-desk of a brain. But if anybody has a request or a specific topic they'd like me to cover, shoot me an email or leave a comment below and I'll see what I can do. Blessings to all! Thanks for being the fans and people you are. Never lose sight of your individuality. Embrace it. Be you.


  1. Sonofapen,

    Were "unclean", "inappropriate", "raw" and "explicit" the words used by your devoted fan whom you refer to?

    sometimes cuss words have that impact needed to express what's deep in the soul. sometimes they're over-used and even over-rated.

    being honest and real with yourself. wearing a mask. acting one way around adults and another way around children. i'm guilty of all but being real with people i really don't know. and sometimes the people i know intimately don't know ALL my "real". perhaps people ARE being honest with themselves - they just aren't letting others know about it.

    it seems that being real amongst people in "the church" is dangerous. has been for decades. you get ostracized (sp?). judged. condemned. ignored at best. it's safer to wear a mask. act like everything's ok while you're frantically trying to maintain your composure so no one will know what's really going on inside your mind, your heart. if you knew what lurks in the depths of my soul, when you see me, perhaps you would turn and run the other way. being real in "the church" isn't safe. it just isn't. so, while i pray, cry, and plead with my Lord in the privacy within my 4 walls to create in me a clean heart - when i leave those 4 walls, you see a smile. you hear laughter, you see a positive person. you hear words of praise to my Lord - i seem like a normal good little Christian. and my smile, laughter, praise and positive attitude ARE real - but there's more truth to me that isn't palatable, appealing, attractive, acceptable. and showing that truth isn't safe. damn it.

    you post has lots of stuff to respond to. hmmm..wish i had more time, but this is more than enough. after all, YOU'RE the blogger, i'm just a fan.

    use your cuss words - if it's what most effectively identifies what's going on in your soul. however, if you find other words to make that impact, i won't complain. :-)

    being real. hmmmm.....that's hard. not sure i want to do that around others. i've been real before, it cost me. not willing to pay that price again. so when you see me, i'll smile and be positive. but just like everyone else, inside there's anguish and pain and fears.

    i do think lots of people really aren't honest with themselves. but i know what's inside me, and it ain't too pretty sometimes.

    keep on bloggin'!

    and YOU be YOU too!


  2. This post was somewhat inspired by a devoted fan, but the concept overall has been around me for years, and I felt it deserved some attention. Us kids usually think very little about cursing it seems, which is expected. But I do think that we should think about what we're saying and the motivation behind the words.

    And tis true. When we put the real, open, honest version of ourselves out there, there's more vulnerability and potential to get hurt. Which sucks. Because those doing the hurting are likely hiding behind their shields shooting arrows at our Achilles tendons, our weak spots, so easily exposed.

    And I believe that there is a time to moderate one's outward expression. Important times that have more significance than one's need for honesty with self. Hopefully that makes sense.

    Thank you for your feedback, it is always appreciated, no matter the length. I may be the blogger on this page, but fans' inputs are important!


  3. you are awesome.

    that's it.

    just awesome!

    hugs to you,

  4. I'm not a fan of profanity. I grew up with a father who used it profusely (like in every sentence he spoke!) But I'm thankful for a Christian mother who wisely didn't even allow my siblings and I to use ANY kind of SLANG words growing up--not even "dang it". So now, I can take it or leave it. To this day, my sister and brother and I don't really have a problem with coarse words slipping out unwanted. Unless thoroughly provoked about something, the words don't even come to mind, as I've noticed they do for most people.

    I regret that it's such a major part of our society that people today don't even see it as a problem, even in Christian circles. However, the Bible standard is this: "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt..." Colossians 4:6

    If the purpose of your blog is just to let all your feelings out, then people can choose whether to read it or not, and you shouldn't worry about being delicate with your language.

    Be prepared to lose some readers though. If I truly had a problem using rough language, I would chose not to read yours. It wouldn't help my Christian resolve to have pure speech. Can you really picture Jesus with anything else?

  5. Thank you, Mrs. Thompson for your input. It is very valid! I don't think foresee myself carrying this language my entire life. And I respect people who indeed have guarded their minds and mouths against the usage of profanity. I suppose my mind has been focused on other bigger picture things in life at this time other than the nitty gritties of my character. Thank you for the feedback :)


  6. You're very right, Josh, to focus on the big things in your character development first. Jesus told the Pharisees to not "neglect the weightier matters", while focusing on the details.

    I believe that all of us see Him in greater detail the closer we get to Him. (Similar to real life--you see more details in an object the closer you get to it.)

    It's the work of a lifetime, Josh, so keep your focus!