Thursday, November 17, 2011


     I grew up as a child who never wanted to do things normally like the other kids. Whenever there was a project that could be done in an hour or so, I always had a need inside to go above and beyond the expected. Never an overachiever or a straight A student, the approval of others was rarely needed for my motivation. My own satisfaction and pride was built from self-made goals and achievements. As I've gotten older, this vision of differentness has pervaded my character. Choosing what to wear is a struggle at times as is ordering at restaurants because I hate to have the same as someone else. Its a curse I can't seem to shake. And though it can feel like a burden at times, in other moments of life, it is a blessing to naturally be thinking outside the box and searching for the original.

     Its this new way of thinking and striving for "the better" and "more" that drives me to desire change. I can't stand the thought of settling for something to stay the way it is when all it would take is someone with a passion to change things. This mentality is sparked when unfair or incorrect situations happen around me. One of the main things I see now that I'm older are the politics and corruptness that occur in the world and even in my own church structure. I'm not one to let hypocrites drive me away from a religion that I believe in, but I am a person that is bothered deeply by ridiculous things that go on. I understand things out "in the world". Religions and perspectives are different out there, but in my own religion college and church structure in which I live? It can drive me nuts sometimes.

     A friend of mine that used to work for the maintenance department at my college told me of corruptness that went on there and is still continuing as far as I know. Doing jobs half-ass, poor communication, and spending college money on personal staff projects. That's money that's basically going out the window. Money that some students have to bust their asses off to earn. I know things like this go on all the time. All over the US in all the SDA establishments. And I'm sure they go seen but unchecked by higher up people that are woven into politics somehow.

     Its moments like these when I vent out all these feelings of change and reform that I see another side of myself. The artsy, easy going guy that I am becomes someone else. A fiery, passionate, fist shaking, finger flipping revolutionary. It makes me think that if I lived back in France during the rebellions or in the US colonies during revolution, I would have thrived as a reformist or something. There's just something in me that wants to leap out of a chair and call people out on their bullshit. I believe in the love of the Lord and His acceptance, forgiveness, and new life. Even for the people that get under my skin. Especially them. And He's still workin' on me in my flares of upset-ness and such.

So this random blog entry is for my readers out there. All two of them so far it seems. Me and my mom -___- If there's anyone out there following any of this craziness, leave comments!

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